


Four Times Clint Barton Watched Bobbi Morse Die (And One Time He Saved Her)

by one_of_those_crushing_scenes



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Mockingbird (Comic), New Avengers (Comics), Secret Avengers, West Coast Avengers
Genre: Angst, Bobbi should really call herself Mockingcat, Clint Barton Feels, Death, F/M, Gen, Get it because she has nine lives, Nightmares, Or more I guess now because of her new superpower, Skrulls - Freeform, traumatized Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 15:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11877165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_of_those_crushing_scenes/pseuds/one_of_those_crushing_scenes
Summary: He's been there before. It never gets any easier.





	Four Times Clint Barton Watched Bobbi Morse Die (And One Time He Saved Her)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm not really what some might call a "plot development" person... This is barely even fanfic; it's just canon retold from the perspective of the Clint that lives inside my head.

1\. The first time that Clint saw Bobbi die, it was at the tail end of a battle between Sattanish and Mephisto over the souls of the West Coast Avengers. They'd been almost in the clear, but the Scarlet Witch had gotten stuck while closing the portal between Hell and Earth, and when Bobbi went back to rescue her, she was struck square in the back by one of Mephisto's brimstone fireballs. One second, they were trading quips, and the next, her body had gone into shock, and he knew that there was no chance she would survive it. She died in his arms, leaving him broken and alone.

He mourned her for years, first openly, and when enough time had passed that it was no longer socially acceptable, he cried for her only when he was alone, at night, with no one else around.

And later, when it finally came out that she had never died at all, that it was a Skrull pretending to be her, and when the real Bobbi came back to him, he never quite figured out what to do with his grief, how to purge the image of the woman he loved dying in his arms. He would wake up at nights in a cold sweat, face wet with tears, and even seeing her there beside him wasn't always enough to fully comfort him. She tried to understand, but she never really did, and eventually they broke up, for unrelated reasons, but he still carries around his trauma to this day.

 

 

2\. In the Savage Land, when all those superhero impersonators came off the Skrull ship—well, they didn't know that they were impersonators at the time, he'd thought he'd gotten her back, and he was overjoyed, and had already started planning out in his mind where they would live and how they would rebuild their lives. 

Within minutes, mere minutes, the rug had been pulled out from under him, when it was revealed that this Mockingbird was a Skrull and that all his hopes were amounting to nothing, _again_ —he didn't know yet that the real Bobbi was still out there—he had just gotten her back, only to lose her again, and all he could think about was that he wanted to murder the sadistic son of a bitch who had organized this game, but he only had the next best thing there. 

The Skrull, whatever her real name was, wasn't wearing Bobbi's face anymore when Clint shot her, but she was wearing the mask and costume, and when he saw what he had done, he fell to the ground and vomited. 

_Avengers don't kill,_ he had always said, but half the face of the Skrull dressed up as Mockingbird was blown away, and he just continued puking his guts out until there was nothing left, and he was curled up into a ball, whimpering, until Luke and Danny picked him up and dragged him away. 

 

 

3\. Not long afterwards, Norman Osborn had somehow convinced America that he was their savior and that it was some sort of good idea to put him in charge. It didn't take long for the public to lift the wool from their eyes, but by then, the damage had been done. Even when he was gone, the institutions he had put into place were still there, and no one knew who could be trusted and who was a double, triple, quadruple agent. 

He wasn't there when she was shot, he doesn't know what the mission was, all he knows is that when they told him, he went out of his mind. Again. 

(The funny thing is technically, this is the only time she did die, if flatlining a few times counts, and it's also the only time he was able to do a thing about it.)

The next few days are a blur of rage, and he's sure he did things he definitely doesn't condone (although at least he didn't turn to Mephisto for help, unlike some other people he could name), but whatever he did, it got results, and in the end, they were left with a needle full of super serum combined with infinity formula. 

He's almost positive that Fury would have injected her with the serum even had he not been there to argue for it, but he'll never know for sure. In any case, Fury tried to talk him out of it, but when weighing the idea of her dying within the next few days or living forever, it was almost a joke. Like, 'do you want three scoops of ice cream or would you rather be kicked in the face?' kind of joke. So, apparently, he gifted her with a ticket to his funeral, whenever that happens, but he figures that'll make them about even.

 

 

4\. The next time that—

That's weird, he's totally blanking on this one. He'll get back to it later. 

 

 

5\. They were in an underwater A.I.M.—no, T.I.M., sorry—science station, and she had just rescued him from evil underwater scientists, and there was some banter, and then she said something about making sure her organs don't get donated and before he could process that statement, she had already locked herself into the decompression chamber. He remembers watching the tank fill up as he banged on the door and seeing the water level go over her head and her body going limp and he was shouting _BOBBIBOBBIBOBBI_ and all of a sudden her eyes shot open and she looked right at him and it was like she was resurrected right in front of his eyes. The water drained from the chamber and she stepped out, very much alive. 

It happened so fast that he was too much in shock to process what had happened, and too relieved when she started breathing again to dwell on anything but the moment, and he probably shouldn't have kissed her, but he just needed to check, it was crucial to make sure it was real, that she was really standing there alive in front of him, his Bobbi, breathing and kissing him back and _alive_. 

His nightmares came back in full force that week.

 

 

4 (again). He's sorry, he really doesn't remember. He's sure that there was another time, it's like his bones carry the echo of the despair, the feeling of being doomed to play this role over and over again, along with—confusion, and a mixture of relief and anger. But for the life of him, he can't say what the circumstances were. So sorry about that.

**Author's Note:**

> For reference:
> 
> 1\. Avengers West Coast, issue 100  
> 2\. Secret Invasion, issues 2-5  
> 3\. New Avengers, volume 2, issues 11-13  
> 4\. Secret Avengers, volume 2, issue 15  
> 5\. Mockingbird, volume 1, issue 4


End file.
